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<urlset xmlns:xsi="http://www.w3.org/2001/XMLSchema-instance" xmlns="http://www.sitemaps.org/schemas/sitemap/0.9" xmlns:image="http://www.google.com/schemas/sitemap-image/1.1" xsi:schemaLocation="http://www.sitemaps.org/schemas/sitemap/0.9 http://www.sitemaps.org/schemas/sitemap/0.9/sitemap.xsd"><url><loc>https://unlikelyexplanations.org/you-shouldnt-be-seeing-this/test-page/</loc><lastmod>2021-10-25T00:13:25+00:00</lastmod><changefreq>weekly</changefreq><priority>0.6</priority></url><url><loc>https://unlikelyexplanations.org/2011/03/03/common-misconceptions-regarding-my-cat/</loc><lastmod>2020-02-07T07:35:44+00:00</lastmod><changefreq>monthly</changefreq></url><url><loc>https://unlikelyexplanations.org/2019/01/03/what-ive-done-writing-wise-in-2018/</loc><lastmod>2019-01-03T13:31:09+00:00</lastmod><changefreq>monthly</changefreq></url><url><loc>https://unlikelyexplanations.org/blog/</loc><lastmod>2017-07-11T02:57:19+00:00</lastmod><changefreq>weekly</changefreq><priority>0.6</priority></url><url><loc>https://unlikelyexplanations.org/2016/01/12/blog-hopping-cats/</loc><image:image><image:loc>https://unlikelyexplanations.org/wp-content/uploads/2016/01/catfood_spill_small1.jpg</image:loc><image:title>catfood_spill_small</image:title><image:caption>I have no idea how they did this. Both bowls were full an hour earlier.</image:caption></image:image><lastmod>2024-08-27T07:04:15+00:00</lastmod><changefreq>monthly</changefreq></url><url><loc>https://unlikelyexplanations.org/2016/01/06/a-scene-from-my-laundry-room-earlier-this-week/</loc><image:image><image:loc>https://unlikelyexplanations.org/wp-content/uploads/2016/01/dryer_belt_small.jpg</image:loc><image:title>dryer_belt_small</image:title><image:caption>For sale: one dryer belt, used.</image:caption></image:image><image:image><image:loc>https://unlikelyexplanations.org/wp-content/uploads/2016/01/laundromat_small.jpg</image:loc><image:title>laundromat_small</image:title><image:caption>Not my laundry room.</image:caption></image:image><lastmod>2024-08-26T08:06:48+00:00</lastmod><changefreq>monthly</changefreq></url><url><loc>https://unlikelyexplanations.org/2016/01/05/2015-year-in-review/</loc><image:image><image:loc>https://unlikelyexplanations.org/wp-content/uploads/2016/01/cats_small.jpg</image:loc><image:title>cats_small</image:title></image:image><image:image><image:loc>https://unlikelyexplanations.org/wp-content/uploads/2016/01/book_small.jpg</image:loc><image:title>book_small</image:title><image:caption>An actual book, made of dead trees.</image:caption></image:image><lastmod>2016-02-14T01:53:24+00:00</lastmod><changefreq>monthly</changefreq></url><url><loc>https://unlikelyexplanations.org/about/</loc><lastmod>2015-04-07T04:13:41+00:00</lastmod><changefreq>weekly</changefreq><priority>0.6</priority></url><url><loc>https://unlikelyexplanations.org/2015/04/01/resurrecting-the-blog/</loc><image:image><image:loc>https://unlikelyexplanations.org/wp-content/uploads/2016/04/litter_small.jpg</image:loc><image:title>My cat's actual litter box</image:title><image:caption>Your caption here.</image:caption></image:image><lastmod>2015-05-19T18:19:00+00:00</lastmod><changefreq>monthly</changefreq></url><url><loc>https://unlikelyexplanations.org/2014/08/20/zombie-unicorns-and-why-i-hate-them/</loc><lastmod>2014-08-24T23:10:33+00:00</lastmod><changefreq>monthly</changefreq></url><url><loc>https://unlikelyexplanations.org/2010/06/22/a-classic-or-just-obscure/</loc><lastmod>2014-07-25T03:17:26+00:00</lastmod><changefreq>monthly</changefreq></url><url><loc>https://unlikelyexplanations.org/2014/05/21/mudville-2358/</loc><lastmod>2014-05-26T04:52:56+00:00</lastmod><changefreq>monthly</changefreq></url><url><loc>https://unlikelyexplanations.org/2014/05/08/pop-quiz-internet-marketing/</loc><image:image><image:loc>https://unlikelyexplanations.org/wp-content/uploads/2015/05/worlds_best_pair_big.jpg</image:loc><image:title>worlds_best_pair_big</image:title><image:caption>What's wrong with this picture?</image:caption></image:image><lastmod>2014-05-21T04:49:13+00:00</lastmod><changefreq>monthly</changefreq></url><url><loc>https://unlikelyexplanations.org/2014/02/14/valentine-2014/</loc><image:image><image:loc>https://unlikelyexplanations.org/wp-content/uploads/2014/02/valentine_2014.jpg</image:loc><image:title>valentine_2014</image:title></image:image><lastmod>2014-05-08T11:20:42+00:00</lastmod><changefreq>monthly</changefreq></url><url><loc>https://unlikelyexplanations.org/2014/02/05/why-cats-are-better-than-dogs/</loc><lastmod>2014-04-10T10:01:26+00:00</lastmod><changefreq>monthly</changefreq></url><url><loc>https://unlikelyexplanations.org/an-open-letter-to-anyone-who-was-directed-here-by-a-search-engine/</loc><lastmod>2014-03-01T16:20:04+00:00</lastmod><changefreq>weekly</changefreq><priority>0.6</priority></url><url><loc>https://unlikelyexplanations.org/2014/02/02/the-making-of-omamania-the-musical/</loc><image:image><image:loc>https://unlikelyexplanations.org/wp-content/uploads/2015/10/movie_poster.jpg</image:loc><image:title>movie_poster</image:title><image:caption>If you're a Blurt fan, the background picture in this poster may look familiar.</image:caption></image:image><lastmod>2014-02-07T16:29:49+00:00</lastmod><changefreq>monthly</changefreq></url><url><loc>https://unlikelyexplanations.org/2014/01/01/yes-virginia-there-is-an-apple-core/</loc><image:image><image:loc>https://unlikelyexplanations.org/wp-content/uploads/2014/12/apple_tech.png</image:loc><image:title>apple_tech</image:title><image:caption>State-of-the-art apple core removal technology</image:caption></image:image><lastmod>2014-02-03T23:47:19+00:00</lastmod><changefreq>monthly</changefreq></url><url><loc>https://unlikelyexplanations.org/2013/12/24/six-things-you-probably-didnt-know-about-santa-claus/</loc><image:image><image:loc>https://unlikelyexplanations.org/wp-content/uploads/2014/12/sleigh_small.png</image:loc><image:title>Human-powered sleigh patent</image:title><image:caption>Diagrams from Santa's human-powered sleigh patent (US1419558 A)</image:caption></image:image><lastmod>2014-01-10T09:23:05+00:00</lastmod><changefreq>monthly</changefreq></url><url><loc>https://unlikelyexplanations.org/copyright-license/</loc><lastmod>2013-12-01T05:54:43+00:00</lastmod><changefreq>weekly</changefreq><priority>0.6</priority></url><url><loc>https://unlikelyexplanations.org/2013/10/10/ten-reasons-why-i-havent-updated-my-blog-lately/</loc><lastmod>2014-01-19T12:18:46+00:00</lastmod><changefreq>monthly</changefreq></url><url><loc>https://unlikelyexplanations.org/2013/08/10/dorothy-and-the-multiverse/</loc><lastmod>2013-09-18T14:38:39+00:00</lastmod><changefreq>monthly</changefreq></url><url><loc>https://unlikelyexplanations.org/2013/07/21/today-is-national-ice-cream-day-or-is-it/</loc><lastmod>2013-08-08T15:07:41+00:00</lastmod><changefreq>monthly</changefreq></url><url><loc>https://unlikelyexplanations.org/2013/06/28/new-filibuster-rules-for-the-texas-state-senate/</loc><image:image><image:loc>https://unlikelyexplanations.org/wp-content/uploads/2014/06/shoe_small.png</image:loc><image:title>shoe_small</image:title><image:caption>There are some &lt;a href="http://www.amazon.com/Mizuno-Womens-Wave-Rider-Running/dp/B008KFY53K" target="_blank"&gt;great Amazon reviews on the shoes Wendy Davis was wearing during her filibuster.</image:caption></image:image><lastmod>2013-07-12T17:45:57+00:00</lastmod><changefreq>monthly</changefreq></url><url><loc>https://unlikelyexplanations.org/2013/05/28/total-recall/</loc><image:image><image:loc>https://unlikelyexplanations.org/wp-content/uploads/2014/05/warning_lights.jpg</image:loc><image:title>Anyone care to guess what made these all light up like this?</image:title><image:caption>These warning lights have nothing to do with the recall, but I was pretty impressed when they all lit up at once.</image:caption></image:image><lastmod>2013-10-11T01:14:17+00:00</lastmod><changefreq>monthly</changefreq></url><url><loc>https://unlikelyexplanations.org/2010/09/14/a-first-look-at-gms-prototype-facebook-interface/</loc><lastmod>2013-06-21T02:00:57+00:00</lastmod><changefreq>monthly</changefreq></url><url><loc>https://unlikelyexplanations.org/2010/07/19/vampire-bees-2/</loc><lastmod>2013-06-21T01:56:09+00:00</lastmod><changefreq>monthly</changefreq></url><url><loc>https://unlikelyexplanations.org/2013/04/27/my-cats-are-so-helpful/</loc><image:image><image:loc>https://unlikelyexplanations.org/wp-content/uploads/2014/04/seffie_with_blue_toy_small.jpg</image:loc><image:title>Not just a pretty face.</image:title><image:caption>The cycle continues.</image:caption></image:image><image:image><image:loc>https://unlikelyexplanations.org/wp-content/uploads/2014/04/seffie_with_blue_toy_closeup.jpg</image:loc><image:title>It's the circle of life.</image:title><image:caption>Apparently the blue toy needed washing again.</image:caption></image:image><image:image><image:loc>https://unlikelyexplanations.org/wp-content/uploads/2014/04/pink_toy_small.jpg</image:loc><image:title>That's right -- I didn't clean up the dry food from the floor. I was overworked and sick, okay? Don't judge me.</image:title><image:caption>It's deja vu all over again.</image:caption></image:image><image:image><image:loc>https://unlikelyexplanations.org/wp-content/uploads/2014/04/blue_toy_small1.jpg</image:loc><image:title>Seffie's favorite non-laser toy</image:title><image:caption>They may be messy eaters, but at least they wash their own toys.</image:caption></image:image><lastmod>2013-06-26T03:48:35+00:00</lastmod><changefreq>monthly</changefreq></url><url><loc>https://unlikelyexplanations.org/2013/06/05/through-a-peg-freshly/</loc><lastmod>2013-06-06T13:24:53+00:00</lastmod><changefreq>monthly</changefreq></url><url><loc>https://unlikelyexplanations.org/2013/05/06/how-to-read-about-how-to-determine-your-optimal-daily-caffeine-intake/</loc><lastmod>2013-05-09T02:10:11+00:00</lastmod><changefreq>monthly</changefreq></url><url><loc>https://unlikelyexplanations.org/2013/05/03/rejected-submissions-to-nasas-send-a-haiku-to-mars-contest/</loc><lastmod>2016-03-18T11:09:54+00:00</lastmod><changefreq>monthly</changefreq></url><url><loc>https://unlikelyexplanations.org/2012/08/26/how-to-eat-fruit/</loc><lastmod>2013-04-19T05:49:13+00:00</lastmod><changefreq>monthly</changefreq></url><url><loc>https://unlikelyexplanations.org/2013/04/15/boston/</loc><lastmod>2013-04-24T15:11:22+00:00</lastmod><changefreq>monthly</changefreq></url><url><loc>https://unlikelyexplanations.org/2011/10/23/your-feeble-attempts-to-ruin-my-life-have-not-succeeded/</loc><lastmod>2024-08-26T08:16:51+00:00</lastmod><changefreq>monthly</changefreq></url><url><loc>https://unlikelyexplanations.org/2013/04/01/these-writing-tips-will-change-your-life/</loc><image:image><image:loc>https://unlikelyexplanations.org/wp-content/uploads/2014/03/insane_city.jpg</image:loc><image:title>You should read this book. But finish this blog post first.</image:title><image:caption>This is a very funny book.</image:caption></image:image><lastmod>2013-05-14T03:00:45+00:00</lastmod><changefreq>monthly</changefreq></url><url><loc>https://unlikelyexplanations.org/2011/04/11/feline-kinetic-gastronomy/</loc><lastmod>2013-03-31T22:13:26+00:00</lastmod><changefreq>monthly</changefreq></url><url><loc>https://unlikelyexplanations.org/2011/04/01/challenge-recipe-1-chicken-with-gravy/</loc><lastmod>2013-03-31T22:11:49+00:00</lastmod><changefreq>monthly</changefreq></url><url><loc>https://unlikelyexplanations.org/2011/04/01/a-change-of-focus/</loc><lastmod>2013-03-31T22:04:25+00:00</lastmod><changefreq>monthly</changefreq></url><url><loc>https://unlikelyexplanations.org/2013/03/24/why-thats-not-me-sleeping-in-a-glass-box-at-moma/</loc><image:image><image:loc>https://unlikelyexplanations.org/wp-content/uploads/2014/03/maybe_not.png</image:loc><image:title>The dishwasher is negotiable.</image:title></image:image><lastmod>2013-03-31T07:45:12+00:00</lastmod><changefreq>monthly</changefreq></url><url><loc>https://unlikelyexplanations.org/archives/</loc><lastmod>2013-03-24T19:12:58+00:00</lastmod><changefreq>weekly</changefreq><priority>0.6</priority></url><url><loc>https://unlikelyexplanations.org/2013/03/18/thank-you-for-reading-my-blog-here-are-a-few-things-you-should-know/</loc><image:image><image:loc>https://unlikelyexplanations.org/wp-content/uploads/2014/03/thunder_med.jpg</image:loc><image:title>I have no idea what shocking thing he is looking at behind me.</image:title><image:caption>Gratuitous cat picture</image:caption></image:image><lastmod>2015-10-01T08:40:16+00:00</lastmod><changefreq>monthly</changefreq></url><url><loc>https://unlikelyexplanations.org/comment-policy/</loc><lastmod>2013-05-24T08:32:52+00:00</lastmod><changefreq>weekly</changefreq><priority>0.6</priority></url><url><loc>https://unlikelyexplanations.org/2012/06/01/driven-to-distraction/</loc><lastmod>2013-03-17T07:33:41+00:00</lastmod><changefreq>monthly</changefreq></url><url><loc>https://unlikelyexplanations.org/2012/06/15/an-open-letter-to-the-infinite-monkey-cage/</loc><lastmod>2014-07-26T02:34:57+00:00</lastmod><changefreq>monthly</changefreq></url><url><loc>https://unlikelyexplanations.org/2012/06/10/im-beginning-to-think-youre-smarter-than-i-am/</loc><lastmod>2013-03-17T01:20:57+00:00</lastmod><changefreq>monthly</changefreq></url><url><loc>https://unlikelyexplanations.org/2012/04/11/better-living-through-reeses-peanut-butter-cups/</loc><lastmod>2024-08-26T09:07:19+00:00</lastmod><changefreq>monthly</changefreq></url><url><loc>https://unlikelyexplanations.org/2012/04/24/dont-look-a-zombie-chocolate-bunny-in-the-mouth/</loc><lastmod>2013-03-16T13:49:41+00:00</lastmod><changefreq>monthly</changefreq></url><url><loc>https://unlikelyexplanations.org/2012/05/15/my-cats-probably-dont-have-the-disease-from-the-movie-contagion/</loc><lastmod>2013-03-16T13:15:29+00:00</lastmod><changefreq>monthly</changefreq></url><url><loc>https://unlikelyexplanations.org/2012/06/24/sparkle/</loc><lastmod>2013-03-16T13:08:19+00:00</lastmod><changefreq>monthly</changefreq></url><url><loc>https://unlikelyexplanations.org/2012/07/03/odds-ends/</loc><lastmod>2013-03-16T13:07:01+00:00</lastmod><changefreq>monthly</changefreq></url><url><loc>https://unlikelyexplanations.org/2012/07/28/fifty-shades-of-greg/</loc><lastmod>2024-08-26T08:09:23+00:00</lastmod><changefreq>monthly</changefreq></url><url><loc>https://unlikelyexplanations.org/2012/09/20/coffee-conundrum/</loc><lastmod>2013-05-24T15:31:50+00:00</lastmod><changefreq>monthly</changefreq></url><url><loc>https://unlikelyexplanations.org/2012/10/06/you-probably-dont-want-to-read-my-depressing-cat-blog/</loc><lastmod>2013-03-16T12:59:04+00:00</lastmod><changefreq>monthly</changefreq></url><url><loc>https://unlikelyexplanations.org/2012/11/19/who-is-astrid-volpert-and-other-questions-for-the-butterball-turkey-hotline/</loc><lastmod>2013-03-16T12:57:13+00:00</lastmod><changefreq>monthly</changefreq></url><url><loc>https://unlikelyexplanations.org/2013/01/05/place-your-bets/</loc><lastmod>2013-03-16T12:54:50+00:00</lastmod><changefreq>monthly</changefreq></url><url><loc>https://unlikelyexplanations.org/2013/01/06/the-delusional-homeowners-guide-to-faucet-repair/</loc><lastmod>2013-03-16T12:51:14+00:00</lastmod><changefreq>monthly</changefreq></url><url><loc>https://unlikelyexplanations.org/2013/01/13/breaking-news-ive-chosen-a-name-for-my-cat/</loc><image:image><image:loc>https://unlikelyexplanations.org/wp-content/uploads/2014/01/seffie_med.jpg</image:loc><image:title>Purrsephone</image:title><image:caption>Seffie (or Purrsephone on formal occasions)</image:caption></image:image><lastmod>2013-03-16T12:49:19+00:00</lastmod><changefreq>monthly</changefreq></url><url><loc>https://unlikelyexplanations.org/2013/02/23/guns-dont-shoot-people-ovens-shoot-people/</loc><lastmod>2013-03-16T12:37:58+00:00</lastmod><changefreq>monthly</changefreq></url><url><loc>https://unlikelyexplanations.org/contact/</loc><lastmod>2013-03-16T07:48:46+00:00</lastmod><changefreq>weekly</changefreq><priority>0.6</priority></url><url><loc>https://unlikelyexplanations.org/you-shouldnt-be-seeing-this/</loc><lastmod>2013-03-16T02:15:31+00:00</lastmod><changefreq>weekly</changefreq><priority>0.6</priority></url><url><loc>https://unlikelyexplanations.org/2013/03/14/good-news-heavily-armed-killer-dolphins-are-not-out-to-get-you-yet/</loc><lastmod>2013-03-18T11:41:22+00:00</lastmod><changefreq>monthly</changefreq></url><url><loc>https://unlikelyexplanations.org/2012/12/28/a-guest-post-by-my-cat/</loc><lastmod>2013-02-23T18:13:20+00:00</lastmod><changefreq>monthly</changefreq></url><url><loc>https://unlikelyexplanations.org/2012/12/18/a-christmas-poem/</loc><lastmod>2012-12-28T22:33:58+00:00</lastmod><changefreq>monthly</changefreq></url><url><loc>https://unlikelyexplanations.org/2012/10/31/whats-your-halloween-personality-type/</loc><lastmod>2012-11-15T08:27:17+00:00</lastmod><changefreq>monthly</changefreq></url><url><loc>https://unlikelyexplanations.org/2012/10/12/how-to-eat-fruit-fall-edition/</loc><lastmod>2012-11-12T02:47:34+00:00</lastmod><changefreq>monthly</changefreq></url><url><loc>https://unlikelyexplanations.org/2012/09/08/look-over-there/</loc><lastmod>2012-09-20T08:33:34+00:00</lastmod><changefreq>monthly</changefreq></url><url><loc>https://unlikelyexplanations.org/hi-remember-me/</loc><lastmod>2012-08-05T12:43:31+00:00</lastmod><changefreq>weekly</changefreq><priority>0.6</priority></url><url><loc>https://unlikelyexplanations.org/2012/05/28/the-eagle-has-landed-2/</loc><lastmod>2012-06-02T04:07:41+00:00</lastmod><changefreq>monthly</changefreq></url><url><loc>https://unlikelyexplanations.org/2012/05/26/moving-day/</loc><lastmod>2012-05-28T23:12:35+00:00</lastmod><changefreq>monthly</changefreq></url><url><loc>https://unlikelyexplanations.org/2012/05/20/how-to-survive-a-solar-eclipse/</loc><lastmod>2012-05-26T15:44:45+00:00</lastmod><changefreq>monthly</changefreq></url><url><loc>https://unlikelyexplanations.org/2012/05/12/beyond-highlight-paying-for-promotion-on-facebook/</loc><lastmod>2012-05-18T06:42:11+00:00</lastmod><changefreq>monthly</changefreq></url><url><loc>https://unlikelyexplanations.org/2012/04/09/what-i-use-my-time-machine-for-now-that-the-novelty-has-worn-off/</loc><lastmod>2013-06-28T06:29:34+00:00</lastmod><changefreq>monthly</changefreq></url><url><loc>https://unlikelyexplanations.org/2012/04/01/self-referential-sunday-my-posting-schedule/</loc><lastmod>2012-04-07T19:11:21+00:00</lastmod><changefreq>monthly</changefreq></url><url><loc>https://unlikelyexplanations.org/store/</loc><lastmod>2012-03-31T23:52:21+00:00</lastmod><changefreq>weekly</changefreq><priority>0.6</priority></url><url><loc>https://unlikelyexplanations.org/2012/03/25/three-scary-things-in-my-house/</loc><lastmod>2018-08-21T19:49:40+00:00</lastmod><changefreq>monthly</changefreq></url><url><loc>https://unlikelyexplanations.org/2012/03/18/march-madness-a-pop-quiz/</loc><lastmod>2012-03-26T04:07:33+00:00</lastmod><changefreq>monthly</changefreq></url><url><loc>https://unlikelyexplanations.org/2012/03/04/before-there-was-spam/</loc><lastmod>2012-03-19T04:47:25+00:00</lastmod><changefreq>monthly</changefreq></url><url><loc>https://unlikelyexplanations.org/2012/02/19/the-five-stages-of-realizing-youve-written-a-poorly-worded-blog-comment/</loc><lastmod>2025-07-15T10:12:55+00:00</lastmod><changefreq>monthly</changefreq></url><url><loc>https://unlikelyexplanations.org/2012/02/13/valentine-2/</loc><lastmod>2012-02-20T02:19:28+00:00</lastmod><changefreq>monthly</changefreq></url><url><loc>https://unlikelyexplanations.org/2012/02/12/toxoplasmosis-or-super-pac-how-to-tell-them-apart/</loc><lastmod>2012-02-20T02:18:31+00:00</lastmod><changefreq>monthly</changefreq></url><url><loc>https://unlikelyexplanations.org/2012/02/06/how-to-destroy-america-step-1-dig-up-marilyn-monroe/</loc><lastmod>2012-02-19T06:07:17+00:00</lastmod><changefreq>monthly</changefreq></url><url><loc>https://unlikelyexplanations.org/2012/01/20/customer-review-the-acme-ez-jump-personal-teleportation-device/</loc><lastmod>2012-02-16T16:14:29+00:00</lastmod><changefreq>monthly</changefreq></url><url><loc>https://unlikelyexplanations.org/2012/01/16/another-reason-why-you-cant-take-me-anywhere-dim-sum-broccoli/</loc><lastmod>2012-01-26T06:07:58+00:00</lastmod><changefreq>monthly</changefreq></url><url><loc>https://unlikelyexplanations.org/2012/01/10/everyones-a-critic/</loc><lastmod>2012-06-02T02:23:39+00:00</lastmod><changefreq>monthly</changefreq></url><url><loc>https://unlikelyexplanations.org/sugar-plum-awareness/</loc><las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