About five seconds after this picture was taken, the cats started fighting with each other. Happy Valentine’s Day!
Valentine
It’s Only a Game: Your Guide to the Super Bowl
On February 6, an estimated 100 million people will watch the Pittsburgh Sabertooths* battle the Green Bay Velociraptors* in Super Bowl XLV. I don’t usually follow football, but I’m a little tired of feeling left out of sports-related conversations, so I decided to do some research. Here’s what I found…
Continue reading “It’s Only a Game: Your Guide to the Super Bowl”
I Don’t Want to Alarm Anyone, But I’m Pretty Sure I Have Rabies
Do the lights in this room seem brighter than usual? I almost asked that question at work today, but I stopped myself just in time. We were all sitting around the conference table, chatting or checking email on our laptops while waiting for the last few stragglers to come in before the meeting started. It was just like any other day, with one difference — the lights were really uncomfortably bright. So I wanted to know if they were bothering anyone else and, more importantly, whether we could turn them down.
Continue reading “I Don’t Want to Alarm Anyone, But I’m Pretty Sure I Have Rabies”
An Actual Book Review
Today, I’m going to write a book review. If you’re familiar with this blog, you’ll be shocked to learn that the book I’m reviewing exists and that I’ve read it, which I’m pretty sure is what people who write actual book reviews do when reviewing actual books.
Continue reading “An Actual Book Review”
Unlikely Resolutions
My slightly-belated, blog-related New Year’s resolutions:
1. Post holiday-themed posts before the actual holidays they refer to.
Continue reading “Unlikely Resolutions”
I Find This Form of Flattery Somewhat Insincere
I’ve always believed that imitation is the sincerest form of flattery, so when I found a few articles from this blog copied elsewhere without attribution or links back to the originals, I was overjoyed. Someone — or apparently two people — thought that a total of four of my blog posts were worth plagiarizing.
Continue reading “I Find This Form of Flattery Somewhat Insincere”
Happy Holidays
In honor of the season, I wanted to post something cute and clever and sweet — but it turns out I’m no good at that. So I’m just going to have to refer you to this instead.
A Brief History of the War on Groundhog Day
What do Copernicus, Bill Murray, PETA, and Sarah Palin all have in common? They’re unlikely allies in the War on Groundhog Day. While the War on Christmas has received a fair amount of media attention in the last few years, the equally troubling War on Groundhog Day has gone almost unnoticed.
Continue reading “A Brief History of the War on Groundhog Day”
Exciting Developments in Walmart’s Partnership With DHS
To: Walmart Store Managers
From: Walmart Executive Leadership
Subject: Exciting Developments in our Partnership with DHS
Dear Store Managers,
As you know, Walmart has partnered with the Department of Homeland Security (DHS) in their “If You See Something, Say Something” campaign. So far, this partnership has been a resounding success: our customers have reported a steady stream of suspicious incidents to you, you’ve passed that information on to DHS, and DHS has verified that the information we provide to them meets the same quality standards as the merchandise we sell to our customers.
Continue reading “Exciting Developments in Walmart’s Partnership With DHS”
An Interview With GFAJ-1, the Arsenic-Eating Bacterium
Today NASA announced the discovery of a bacterium, called GFAJ-1, that can use arsenic in place of phosphorus. GFAJ-1 has graciously agreed to do an interview with us.
Unlikely Explanations: Let me start with the one question that’s on everyone’s mind. No other life form on Earth can use — or even tolerate — arsenic the way you do. Are you from outer space?
GFAJ-1: No, I’m from California. A lot of people confuse the two.
Unlikely Explanations: Thriving on arsenic the way you do is a major accomplishment. How did you do it?
GFAJ-1: It was a slow process that occurred over many generations. I won’t lie — initially, my family was as intolerant of arsenic as anyone else. But then arsenic started moving into the neighborhood, and we realized we’d have to adapt somehow.
Continue reading “An Interview With GFAJ-1, the Arsenic-Eating Bacterium”
Unlikely Explanations 